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tbpiper1

So You Like Blonde Jokes...

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have.
Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more. "I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "we don't have any"
'But I always buy it here," says the blonde "Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist "YES", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant"  Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container.........
Confused
Surprised
Shocked

" To apply, push up bottom."
aimee

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond
female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut & stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and
again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out
again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed
harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is!"


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 My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."





A Blonde's Year in Review
 January - Took new scarf back to store because it was
too tight.

 February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to
print labels.....Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in printer !!!

 March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle
in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

 April - Trapped on escalator for hours ..... power
went out!!!

 May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong
instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little
packets!!!

 June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a
lake with a slope.

 July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....
learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they
used their arms!!!

 August - Got locked out of my car in rain
storm.....car swamped because soft-top was open.

 September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't
it???

 October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

 November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions
said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

 December - Couldn't call 911 ..... "duh".....there's
no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!

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